Wow, 2010... Really?

Dear 2010 - You kind of suck right now. And you're anything but "less complicated".

You started off well enough... full of hope and promise. But you've turned out to be The Year of Worry. And I don't appreciate it.

I will not go into the long list of stuff (people) I'm currently worrying about. The one that's on my mind at this moment - and lots of moments throughout the day - is my friend Jone.

Jone is the mother of my longtime friend, Wendie. Wendie and I go way back to elementary school. We had very similar responsibilities growing up - our parents worked outside the home and we babysat our younger brothers every day after school. As you can imagine, this was quite a bonding experience. We talked on the phone for hours most days after school (or during the summer) while we were at our respective homes.

After high school, as often happens, we lost touch. We reconnected in 2003, when we found each other on Classmates.com. She was the same Wendie I remembered - hilarious, adorable, smart as hell. I vaguely remembered her mom from when we were kids... I got to know her better after 2003.

I will try to describe Jone in a paragraph, but I will not be doing her justice. She's got many layers and it's impossible to capture it all here, in words.

Jone is an intuitive, centered, smart, creative, strong, witty woman. She doesn't eat meat. She eats organic. She's intensely spiritual and open minded. She's very wise. She's wildly in love with (and proud of) her kids (including her son-in-law and daughter-in-law) and her beautiful grandchildren, who call her "Kukla". She's one of the most supportive people I know. She is a wonderful human being.

A quick story about the kind of person Jone is:
When Wendie was pregnant with her daughter, Grace, she was living in North Carolina. She was very happy in her marriage, but not in NC, and was missing her mother and friends. Jone asked me to come with her to visit Wendie. There was no way I could afford it at the time. Somehow, without making me feel like an ass, she convinced me that her buying my plane ticket was her gift to Wendie. So off we went to North Carolina, just the two of us, to visit Wendie. It's one of my favorite memories.

Fast forward.

For the last 5 months, literally every single time I talked to Wendie, she'd tell me how worried she is about her mom. "Melissa, she's just sick... she's been sick for months and I'm really worried... I think it's pneumonia." We talked last Saturday and again, she told me how worried she is, but that Jone is now saying she thinks it's time for a doctor. Wendie was very relieved to hear it and was just waiting for the go ahead to take her. The very next day I got a text: "They think my mother has ovarian cancer. Large mass. On way to Boston". She was in an ambulance on the way to Brigham and Women's hospital. Two hours later, another text: "It's cancer".

It's been 9 days since that exchange, and there have been countless phone calls, texts, emails since.... delivering information, crying, asking questions, telling stories. As I write this, we are still waiting to hear the results from her biopsy to determine what type of cancer it is, since they haven't been able to determine whether it's ovarian or colon cancer. As soon as the results are in, they will formulate a plan and begin treatment.

I don't understand this... how this woman, who gives so much thought to what she puts into her body, and what (and who) she surrounds herself with.... could have cancer. It does not make sense to me. I cannot wrap my mind around it. And it's not like 2009 was a cake walk for her either... she and her family have had far too many challenges to face recently. It's not fair. It's just not.

The good news: Jone has an amazing support system. Her kids have been with her through every minute of this. Wendie was able to spend several nights in the hospital with her. They just dropped everything to be by her side. They've had tough conversations but feel fortunate to be able to have them. They've cried together and separately. They've made each other laugh when they should have been crying. They love each other intensely and it's quite something to see.

As their friend, it's been tough... I wait for word... I call, email or text just to say "xo" or "thinking of you"... not wanting to be intrusive, demanding answers. I want to be there, but obviously respect Jone's wishes with regard to visitors right now. I want to be there for Wendie, just to deliver gluten free snacks or slipper socks... there just isn't anything for me to do right now but wait. So, wait I do.

As I write, Jone is ready to kick some ass... in Wendie's words "You'll be happy to hear that my mom is in total fight mode and has vowed to beat this thing to the ground." Yes, Wendie... I'm very happy to hear that.