Related Posts with Thumbnails
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

I Hope We Always Laugh Like This


Two week ago today, I married the love of my life.

It took me far too long to find him, as far as I’m concerned. I was 33.

I always say (and this was part of what I said to him in my wedding vows)… that I wish we had met sooner so that we could have more time together. But if we had, I know I wouldn’t be able to appreciate what I have. And what I have is a good man… who is kind, funny, strong, gentle, loving, smart, and who I have so much fun with.

When we met, almost 4 years ago, I had almost given up on love. How many love stories start out that way? You hear that quite often, don’t you? “They” do say that it happens when you’re not looking. That was definitely the case with me.

I had been out of a long term relationship for over a year, and was freshly out of my “transition” or “rebound” relationship. Which, at the time, I didn’t realize was my rebound and though it caused me a lot of pain for such a short romance, I’m glad it happened.

I was single and not too happy about it, but was ready to just be alone for a while. I went to my friend Rachel’s house for a New Year’s Eve party and someone was talking about MySpace. At the time, I had no idea what it was so they explained it to me.

A couple days later, I was online and decided to check it out. After setting up my page and exploring it for a while, I did a “search” in my area to see what kind of guys were on it. Bob caught my eye right away and I clicked on his picture. Totally cute, friendly looking dude. THEN I saw his photo albums.

He had posted pictures from his trip to see The Dave Matthews Band at the Gorge in Washington. If you’re a DMB fan, this is the ultimate trip to see them perform. They usually do three shows over a weekend and the setting is beautiful. I realized I had a real fan on my hands.

So. I sent him a message about how cool it must have been to see them at the Gorge. And the rest, as they say, is history. We just immediately clicked – obviously bonding over DMB, but realizing that something pretty special was happening. We pretty quickly moved to phone calls and just a few short weeks later, we met in person.

He will tell you that he knew he loved me before we even met… and I love hearing that. For me, it took a little longer, since I was a little “wounded”. Trust didn’t really come very easily for me at that point. I found myself very attracted to him, but I was definitely skittish.

The thing that was key for me was his consistency. He did what he said he was going to do, when he said he was going to do it. His feelings didn’t change from one day to the next. His patience was unbelievable. He just said “listen, you’re it for me… and I can be as patient as you need me to be”.

Beyond that, this is someone who just gets me - there isn’t a lot of explaining that needs to be done. We have so much fun together, we enjoy lots of the same things, we see life so much the same way and I feel so free and safe with him. And we laugh… so much. Sometimes, all we have to do is say one word or look at each other a certain way and we’re laughing so hard we can’t catch our breath and we’re wiping our eyes because they’re tearing up. I said to him just the other night “I hope we always laugh like this”.

“They” also say that opposites attract and while I’m sure that’s true… for the long term, I really feel that it’s important to be with someone you connect with on a deep level.

Over the time that we’ve been together, we’ve traveled quite a bit and experienced a lot. None of it compared to our “WeddingMoon” in Aruba. It wasn’t the setting, though it was beautiful. It was that we were finally there, making that commitment to each other. There were moments, even beyond the actual ceremony, that will stay with me forever.

I love this man, so much. He’s hilarious and he’s enthusiastic. He’s smart and creative. He asks about my day. He protects me and he adores me. He supports me and he encourages me. He’s the love of my life, and now... he's my husband.





Bookmark and Share

Read more...

Just a Reminder


Bob gave me this necklace on my 34th birthday. I've been wearing it ever since.



There was a time in my life when I was "stuck". When I was finally out of that particular situation, I promised myself I would always live... not sit stagnant. I would always look forward to something... I would see and experience things... I would never be "stuck" again.



When Bob came along, I felt so lucky that we found each other... he sees life so much the same way. Before we got together, I had begun my exploration of life via travel. I took a few trips with girlfriends (Colorado and New Orleans, a trip to North Carolina to visit Wendie, and couple of trips to Alabama to visit my brother when he was in the Army). Since we've been together, we've traveled across the country in the plane, driven to DC and Florida together, been on countless weekend getaways, and soon we'll be in the Carribean! I've taken up some new hobbies (hiking, writing, photography). And I've met some great new people.



Even in our most financially dismal days, we made sure we had fun... we'd head down to the water with a picnic or take a drive or walk. The RISD Museum has "Free for All Saturdays" on the last Saturday of the month, the movie theater the next town over has "Super Tuesdays" when tickets are $6.00. We even had a few "broke" weekends away. We just packed food rather than ate meals out, used Priceline for hotels for great deals, and did things that didn't cost money while we were there. And you know what? If I think about vacations we've taken together, I don't think about restaurants or shopping as much as I think about things we saw and moments between the two of us.



My point is... there's a big world out there... there's so much to see, do and learn. It's so much fun to anticipate... to have something to look forward to. Whether it's a visit from a distant friend or family member, a class at The Learning Connection, a walk in the woods or on the beach with your spouse and kids... have fun with life. Embrace it.



"Don't burn the day... away..."
"Pig" by The Dave Matthews Band





Bookmark and Share

Read more...

Love Doesn't Have to Be Complicated

mail


Love doesn’t have to be so complicated!

One of my best friends is so good at giving love advice. Lots of other kinds of advice, too but… in my opinion, relationships are her specialty. She’s given me two pieces that have really stuck with me over the years.

The First: I was in a 5 year relationship with Nice Guy. Everyone liked him. I liked him. We just were not right for each other. In the 5 years we were together, I never wanted to marry him. I never considered having children with him. I guess I just knew it wasn’t going to work out. We had some major personality differences - and without placing blame too much but in an effort to be concise… he was not very motivated or ambitious, didn’t really have much interest in seeing the world, and he tended to be passive aggressive. But he had a huge heart, lots of compassion, loved his family very intensely. It just seemed like we were always trying to wait for some crisis in our relationship to pass. And there was always some crisis. Constant couples counseling did nothing.

One day, I was on the phone with Wendie, telling her yet again how upset I was about something that had happened or not happened. She said to me, “Melissa. You two have been dealing with the same issues for years. Are things any different today than they were a year ago?” “No,” I replied. “And… honestly, do you see them being any different a year from now than they are today?” And that was it. She was absolutely right. What was I doing? That night, I broke up with him. And it was such a relief. That was 5 years ago, and I have passed this advice on to other friends since then. Granted, if you’re not really ready to hear it - you may not. Or it may stick with you and 6 months later… when you’re ready, you’ll remember.

The Second: I was in a 3 month relationship the summer after Nice Guy. Insecure Guy was the opposite of Nice Guy. He was interested in seeing the world, had a great job, was ambitious. But he was kind of a jerk. Have you ever met the insecure guy who tries to make you feel insecure so that he can feel better about himself? Without boring you with details, I’ll just say he was very vague about women in his recent past, and would say things -- or not say things, knowing it would upset me. I couldn’t see any of this. All I could see was that he was SO different from Nice Guy… I thought I better hold on to him tight. When the inevitable break up happened, it was one of those long, drawn out things where he totally kept me hanging for months. The whole thing was ridiculous… he fed me lines like “I just can’t be with you right now”…. “I can’t have my heart broken by you again”. Ugh. So Wendie said “Melissa. It shouldn’t be this hard. When two people want to be together, they just are.” Oh.

Fast forward to today. I’ve been with The One for a little over 3 years. I can count on one hand the number of substantial fights we’ve had. We met, we liked each other, we dated, we moved in together. That’s it. We’re honest with each other, we’re kind and respectful to each other, we laugh all the time, we enjoy the same things and have the same sort of dreams for the future. This relationship is not riddled with drama. When two people want to be together, they just are. It’s not that complicated.

You can find more advice from Wendie here.

Read more...

  © Free Blogger Templates Digi-digi by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP