Words

Tumor
Biopsy
Prognosis
Chemo

A month ago, these weren’t words that I heard or spoke every day. Now, they are. So many of you have been so supportive, and have sent your positive thoughts to Jone. I appreciate it so much, as I know Jone, Wendie and their family do. I know Wendie has been blown away by the outpouring of love and concern… by people she knows personally, and by those she doesn’t.

I remain unable to wrap my mind around this. When I was on the phone with Wendie last night, one of the things she wanted to know was, of course… why? Why Jone, with her healthy lifestyle, huge heart and good soul? Why do people who have no regard for their health, environment, or others… get to live really long, healthy lives?

Out of respect for Jone and her family, I will not be going into specific details about her health or prognosis, except to say that it’s been a challenging couple of days. I find myself drifting off every now and then… just thinking about Jone and what they are going through right now. Thinking about what the next month will hold for them… and not even being able to fathom what it must be like for her.

As I said, this is a woman blessed with an amazing family and support system. Wendie and her brother are very close to her, and to each other. Their spouses are wonderful people. Wendie’s kids have very special relationships with Kukla. Wendie specifically has a bond with her mother like I’ve never seen before, and they really are the best of friends.

And Jone has continued to be there for her kids through all of this as well… giving Wendie a space where she can be completely honest, and she doesn’t have to feel like she has to constantly put on a happy face for her mother. I think that’s incredibly selfless. A different type of person might not allow conversation about how others are feeling, or make room for someone else’s tears or sadness. I can’t tell you how much I respect Jone for this… but really, she’s simply being who she is.

I continue to be thankful for that… and really, when it comes down to it, aren’t our relationships what’s most important? Do you really, at critical moments in life, think… “you know, I really wish I had bought that 50 inch Plasma,” or “yeah, I have someone in my life who will sit here with me all day waiting for a doctor to appear and then conquer a paralyzing fear of needles to administer my medication… but I really wish I had that Corvette...”?

So as I continue to try my best to be there for Wendie, and answer the phone calls that come at night, I try to find words of comfort…

Sorry
Love
Kenny
Cory
Grace
Jack
Brother
Sister-in-Law
Friends
Laugh
Cousin
Strong

But I know the words aren’t enough… because I can’t say the thing that’s going to make it all go away. I have to be ok with it and do my best to just be there and to listen. Because really… there are no words.